Communication Insights from an Unexpected Life Event
Lessons I Learned from My Husband’s Stroke Recovery
Life’s lessons surround us if we pay attention and are willing to apply them to our learning and growth.
As I’ve mentioned in recent blog posts, my husband had a stroke two days before Thanksgiving 2019. His right side was completely paralyzed for many days and he was unable to verbally communicate for many weeks following. *NOTE: See below for an update on his progress.
During that time, he asked that I speak for him. (I still do so when he calls upon me for technical discussions.) Through the weeks, we developed a shorthand based upon 24 years of friendship and facial expressions/glances.
Did I always get it right? No, but I tried very hard. Through self-reflection, I found that I was the most ineffective when I was rushed, distracted or tired.
I also see my communication inadequacies when I witness others in conversation with him. There are some who are uncomfortable with the silence or situation so they talk AT him; some others speak to him as though he is a 4-year old child rather than the intelligent, adult man that he has always been; while still others comfortably sit with him to allow him the time he needs to get to the thoughts/words that he intends.
Watching him with that latter type of visitors is beautiful to experience. He is more relaxed, talkative, expressive and now even humorous. You see, he’s always been “in there” and knows what he wants to say. It’s just that the wires don’t connect between his brain and his mouth or hands (to type or write).
One great takeaway is that by throttling back with more patience and allowing more space in the conversation I always harvest the greatest results. I see this as an excellent insight and intend to apply it in my business communications as well.
It makes perfect sense, right? Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who impatiently tries to finish your sentences for you, but gets it wrong? I don’t know about you, but I leave those conversations feeling anything but listened to or heard.
What are your life experiences teaching you right now? How can you turn those experiences into lessons learned to apply daily in your life? If you’d discuss this or other topics, then please contact me at dlandry@authentizity.com.
*NOTE: Daran’s recovery continues advancing thanks to God’s Healing Grace, Daran’s hard work and tenacity, and the dedication of TIRR Memorial Hermann’s exemplary physical, occupational and speech therapists. He has also become far less frustrated in conversation through the use of the space to find his words. They’re not always words that he would previously have used in conversations. The remapping of his wiring has generated fun new words from his vocabulary which make us chuckle at their newfound applicability. He now has the freedom to create whoever he wants to be next!
